I am in fantastic shape. My doctor recently called me a “superwoman.” He says I am a 42-year-old female with the body and inner workings of a 25-year-old. I don’t “need” to hire a trainer/nutritionist because nothing is wrong with my physical health or nutrition right now. However, I employ a physical trainer who is a nutritionist to help KEEP me this healthy.

Ergo, I also employ a psychologist and a life coach for regular mental health check-ins. When things do get crazy, and I feel mentally unwell, it is reassuring to have a learned, degreed professional on “speed dial, ” no matter how well adjusted I am. No one I employ possesses “arbitrary/questionable credentials,” I assure you. And as a woman working toward her MS in Psychology, I can also assure you that doing so is not a task for laypeople, as is, for instance, leaving arbitrary/questionable comments under a writer’s work on the internet.

This article is not about hiring a mental health professional to help you decide if you should or should not date someone. It’s about being emotionally fit before, during, and after our relationships, and making this sort of fitness a prerequisite for the people we date and marry. This is an article about wanting your partner to check-in with their emotional selves as a way to maintain their mental wellness, the way many of us who are healthy human beings implore our partners to eat right and exercise.

Older generations have a hard time accepting they got this wrong. That they ignored mental illness and thought they could enlighten the dark corners of their minds all on their own. It was a generation of toxic masculinity that bred similar generations, and now, we are living in a world that makes such relics obsolete — that make your views and comment on the matter obsolete. How to not be such a relic is something members of your generation should most certainly discuss…in therapy.

3x New York Times bestselling author, copywriter, and columnist. lilibetovesen.com